"I love you, but I don't desire you — and that's becoming OK."
By Sarah L.
Co-founder of Ceceloom
The love is still there. That was never the question.
You still laugh at their terrible jokes.
You still reach for their hand when you're walking.
You share a bed, a mortgage, a lifetime of inside jokes that no one else gets.
But your body? Your body has gone quiet.
Not broken. Not damaged. Just... different.
The warmth you feel for them hasn't changed. But the fire that used to live in your belly, the heat that used to rise when they looked at you a certain way?
It packed up and left without saying goodbye.
The guilt is heavier than the loss itself.
Here's what no one prepares you for: it's not the absence of desire that destroys you. It's the weight of disappointing someone you love.
The guilt of saying "not tonight" for the fifteenth time this month.
The shame of no longer initiating, no longer responding the way you used to.
The terrible feeling that you're failing at something fundamental.
As a partner. As a woman. As a sexual being.
Because society sold us this story: that love equals desire, that passion equals connection, that a relationship without heat is a relationship that's dying.
And when the hormones shift and your body stops cooperating with that narrative, you start to believe you're the problem.
You try the things they tell you to try. The creams that promise to wake up sleeping nerve endings. The supplements that claim to restore what time has taken. The lingerie that feels like a costume for a play you no longer want to perform.
But what if the problem isn't your body?
What if the problem is the script we've been handed?
What if we rewrote the rules?
What if love didn't have to look like it did when you were 30?
What if intimacy could exist without performance?
What if touch could be tender without being sexual?
Menopause isn't the end of connection. It's the invitation to discover a different kind of closeness.
One built on presence instead of passion.
Comfort instead of conquest.
Understanding instead of urgency.
The quiet moments when you sit close without expectation.
The gentle touches that soothe instead of seduce.
The conversations that happen in the dark, when vulnerability doesn't need to lead anywhere except deeper understanding.
This is intimacy too. Maybe it's even more honest than what came before.
Ceceloom was born from this truth.
We don't make products for seduction.
We don't promise to reawaken anything that's choosing to sleep.
We create comfort for the nights when your body whispers:
"I just want to be held... but not pursued."
Our night bralette isn't designed to make you feel sexy.
It's designed to make you feel safe.
Safe in your own skin.
Safe from expectation.
Safe from the pressure to be anything other than exactly what you are right now.
Because sometimes, the most intimate thing you can offer is your authentic self. Even when that self is tired. Even when that self wants softness more than spark.
Your body is not broken because it no longer responds to old triggers.
Your relationship is not failing because passion has evolved into something quieter.
You are not less worthy of love because desire has changed its address.
You are simply becoming who you are now. And she deserves to be loved too.
Sarah L.
Co-founder of Ceceloom. Learning that love has many languages, and not all of them are spoken in bed.
